These are words from Hamlet's famous soliloquy which begins with "To be or not to be", and reveals his thoughts of suicide. Had Hamlet been forced to endure a telecast of the Miss World pageant, he would not have merely pondered suicide, he would have slit his wrists with a Minora blade immediately. Death would have been a welcome escape from the "snooze fest" that is the Miss World pageant. Fortunately I was spared the agony that I assume was the first hour of the telecast since I was involved in a fashion shoot in Somerset West and only returned home when 13 of the 16 semi-finalists had already been announced. The second hour wasn't any better and Hamlet's "dream" turned out to be a living nightmare.
I was also pleased that the vocal "regulars" on USB had finally experienced a live Miss World telecast and that they echoed the contempt and disgust that those of us that have had to endure the pageant year after year express. Miss Universe is the best pageant in the world. It is slick, professional and exciting. Donald Trump might be an ass, but he knows beautiful women. Period!
For those of you that have had so much to say about Stefania Fernandez, you now need to eat humble pie and admit that she is a goddess compared to the average winners of the other 4 Grand Slam pageants of 2009. Even the now infamous photographs of her upon her arrival in Indonesia recently are no longer reason enough to "dis" her. Most of her other photographs just scream "beautiful".
I'm really not going to waste your time with a "blow-by-blow" analysis of the pageant since every other pageant-related website will soon be publishing their "take" on the pageant. For me the pageant ended when the overhyped Miss South Africa only managed third place. I have never cheered so wildly for a third place in my life.
Yes, I know it's not very sporting of me. It's downright unpatriotic to be honest. But when my least favourite Miss SA since 1956 failed to win the title that was "hers for the taking", I just couldn't contain myself. Naturally her handful of supporters will insist that a third place in a field of 112 is nothing to be scoffed at, but let us not forget that she was supposed to "surprise" all the nay-sayers and was going to make us eat our words.
Bottom line is that not even a pageant hosting expenditure of R45million, the fact that she was the representative from the 2010 Fifa World Cup host country, home-ground advantage or a predominantly South African panel of judges could ensure her the victory that her obsessed fans were predicting. She finished third, the same position as the much-maligned Jessica Motaung.
Tomorrow Tatum Keshwar will say her good-byes, crown her successor and ride off into the sunset. Her achievements will be noted in the archives for posterity, but I will never have to utter her name again. A dreamlike ending to the nightmare that was the Miss World telecast.
Incidentally, well done to Miss Gibraltar (or is it Gibraltor as indicated on the Johannesburg Tourism site). Your victory is as mind-boggling as the make-up of the Top 16 and Top 7.